Recently, a friend was speaking with a friend about how he wasn’t quite sure if he was an introvert or extrovert. “I’m all over the place,” he said. “Or,” she replied with a smile, “maybe you are well balanced.”
I was thinking recently about how I try to solve every problem that my friends have. “What kind of horrible overdeveloped sense of responsibility do I have?” I thought. Then, it suddenly dawned on me: “Maybe I just like problem solving.”
I have a friend who, every time I am down on myself, can tell me a reasonable reason why I did that thing I did, and how it makes sense. She gives me a new perspective.
Now, this is not to make excuses for when we really do wrong things as though they weren’t wrong. No. We do have to take responsibility for those actions. What I’m referring to here are those things that seem stupid, or those ways we think of ourselves as bad. What are some ways we can change our language to give ourselves or others the benefit of the doubt? Where can we rephrase to show that so much of who we are really does make sense? Maybe ask God to show you the next time the opportunity to rephrase comes up, and look for it.
May God bless your day.
2 thoughts on “Benefit of the Doubt”
When I do something that hurts another person, it is obviously accidental, but when somebody else does something that hurts me, it is obviously deliberate! That jerk! I am joking to make a point, of course, but it is true that I notice it can be hard for me to recognize somebody else’s intentions weren’t malicious. I think it is easier to forgive and let things go when we rephrase as you suggest, or as I call it in highly scientific terms, having a heart of Oopsiness. My Oopsiness heart acknowledges that when somebody else hurts me, it’s more likely an inadvertent oops than a premeditated insult to my sensitive heart.
And if somebody hurts me with intent? And doesn’t apologize? Well, then, I finally get a good chance to practice living out the Gospel. So, Praise God either way. 🙂
Oopsiness! I love that. I might bring it up in a blog if that’s OK (credited of course). And yes.. if they don’t apologize, a chance to live out the Gospel. That is a good point to remember! Forgiveness is difficult!