Toward Love

CousinhugI had an experience once where I was lonely and I needed a friend. I did everything I could to hint around. “I suppose you are busy,” I said.  “You must be doing something interesting,” I said.  Of course we can see that the fact that I needed a friend was obvious by my statements.  It was not only not obvious, it was every so slightly manipulative with an ever so slight guilt trip in there.

Finally I told a friend that I needed a friend. “If you need me, of course I’m here!” said the friend with much affection. And communication commenced, and it was lovely.

Sometimes as people we get afraid of asking for what we need. We don’t want to bother someone.  It used to be that people were afraid of  such things as “emotional dependency” and “codependency” and being “clingy.” Actually, I think we still are.

But all these things are based on fear.  Humans have been helping each other since we came on the scene.  It is how we create societies. It is how we  get shelter and food and clothing.  And some other species do it too. If one needs a friend and asks, or if one needs some lovin’ from one’s spouse and asks, what is that going to do? If the person is trustworthy and if you have a relationship, It will strengthen the relationship; it will deepen it as trust is given.

If we ask in freedom and are not trying to manipulate out of fear, we are moving toward love. Giving and receiving freely is what relationships are about.  So go forth, and don’t be afraid. You know how you wish that one person would confide in you? Others feel the same way.

May God bless your day.

 

P.S. If you are worried that someone is busy, just let them know that anytime is fine. 🙂

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